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Blog Started 08/01/10
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Blog Age 2572 days
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Refresher Course


Fri Dec 09, 16 7:27 pm

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[  Mood: Amused ]
[ Reading What I wrote so long ago and laughing at it! Currently: Reading What I wrote so long ago and laughing at it! ]

For the new people and the people whom do not remember, here are ALL the installments of THE CROCHET LESSONS. Enjoy!

DAY ONE
I taught crochet to two young people for about a year and had learned how to teach young, rambunctious and hyper children. You have to start with some simple lessons, get them interested and weed out the ones that will quit later. I like to start with the following two lessons. Normally they take a couple of weeks to learn these basics rules, and you must adjust them to fit your individual needs.
These are a few of mine:

Lesson Number One:
The crochet hook is not an offensive weapon, toenail or ear cleaner, cooking utensil or a booger wrangler.

Lesson Number Two:
The yarn is not to be pulled through your mouth, used as rock climbing equipment, a hangmen noose, strewn across the room in a gigantic representation of a spider web nor used to tie up annoying siblings.

Once you have the students master these first two lessons, only then will they be ready to move on to the actual uses of said devises.
I will reveal said uses at a later date, giving all those who would like to learn to crochet, the chance to catch up to those who have mastered the first two lessons.


DAY TWO
*Open Curtains*

Teacher walks into crochet class:
"Alright now, class! Quiet down! Good morning!"
"Yes, Sereina, I packed my own lunch again."
"Rachel, ladies do not put crochet hooks in their ears."
"Alan, would you stop winding your yarn around Laura's head? Because you'll get it in her beautiful eyes, that's why."
"Nickolas, would you please come down off of the ceiling fan? No, dear, it won't fly away without you."
"Laura, I know Alan was mean, but that's no reason to pinch him. Because it's not ladylike."
"Rachel, honey, how many times do I have to tell you to take your crochet hook out of your ear? You'll hurt yourself."
"No, Nick, you can't use your hook as a throttle lever for your spaceship. Yes, honey, I know your going to be an astronaut someday. Of course you will."
"Sereina, there are certain times when a lady does not talk about how many worms she ate the other day. Yes, sweetie, this is one of those times."
"Laura, dearie, you shouldn't say things like that. Because it's not nice."
"Rachel, dear, would you please take your crochet hook out of your ear? Thank you, honey."
"Alan, GENTLEMEN do not say such things. Becaaaause... it will ban them from The Big Boys Club!... Well, then, it will get back to the government and they won't let you buy guns when your old enough... Well, when they find out, they will take it away... Yes, they can, too! Now, sit down, and start untangling your yarn."
"LAURA! How could you do such a thing to such a sweet, darling little girl like Ser... SEREINA! LET GO OF HER HAIR THIS INSTANT! Don't you stamp your foot at ME, young lady!"
"NICKOLAS NICKOLI NICKELODEON! GET OFF ALAN! I don't care if that isn't your name! You do what I say or I am going to have a long talk with your FATHER"!
"RACHEL! GET YOUR CROCHET HOOK OUT OF YOUR EAR OR I WIL...!"
*Bell Chimes*
"Alright class, file out quietly. Thank you for coming! We had fun today, didn't we? Byebye! Yes, Sereina, I'll pack my lunch again tomorrow. Byebye! Uhhuh. Byebye!"
Closes door, walks over to the desk...
Drops into chair,
puts arms on top of desk,
buries face in arms and
sobs bitterly...
*End Scene*

DAY THREE

"Good morning, class!" *smiles sweetly*

"Alright, everyone take your hooks out and put them ON YOUR DESK! Good, very good! Ohhh, it looks like Alan & Sereina couldn't make it today… Now, quiet down, class. We've lots of ground to cover today… No, Laura, we’re not going anywhere… Because I've just decided not to."

"Now, I want to... Oh, Rachel! Flowers? For me?... Oh, of course I forgive you for yesterday! How sweet! They smell wonder-AAAAAGGH!" *ahem* "Rachel? Will you please take your frog back to your desk?...”

"Good, now, we have some new pupils today! Isn't that wonderful? Andrea? Timothy? Uriah? Would you stand up, please? No, not on your desks, boys, on the floor. Thank you. Now, which one would like to tell about themselves first? AlRIGHT Timothy, if it means that much to you, let go of Uriah's ear and you may go first… Um, where do you think you are you going?... Oh, ok, yes, you may go get your Power Point presentan-Wait, how long is it?... ok… You might have to wait till after class, so go sit down… What? NO! *ahem* I mean, no, you may not propose to any of the girls first… Because you have to ask their fathers first… Ok, you do that… Yes, sit down now. Thank you."

"Nickolas? Airplane-making will be done at shop class. Alright then, spaceship-making will be done at shop class. Ok, spaceship-building will be done... Fine, super-sonic-hydro-electric-fermented-oatmeal-rocket-spaceship-building will... JUST QUIT IT AND SIT DOWN!"

“Would you please stop going to the window, Uriah?... You have a pet what out there?!... oh… Weeelll,…. Could you please leave it outside? Thank you. Alright, Uriah, now that we got Timothy settled in the corner, please tell us about yourself… Ok, I guess I didn't know that about tanks, goats and winter wheat diseases… Yes, it was very diverse. You may sit down now… on you chair. Thank you.”

“Laura? This is crochet class, not knitting class. Please give Andrea back her hook… I don’t care if she let you have it, anyone would after being threatened like that… Give it back. Thank you… Yes, absolutely, you may talk to your mother about joining Miss Hunch’s knitting class… No, sit down, your mother won’t be here till after class… Yes, unfortunately, I’m sure.”

"Now, where was I?... What, Rachel? Sereina asked you to ask me wha..? Oh, Ye.. NO, my mother packed my lunch today. Yes, she sent it all the way from Nebraska. On dry ice… It is ice that is dry… I think they put it in a special clothes dryer… No, you’d better ask your mother first… Uh-huh… No, I wouldn’t put the frog in it.”

“Oh, yes! Andrea! Would you like to tell us about yourself?... No, wait! Where are you going?!... No nononon, honey, if you don’t want to, that’s ok, just come out from under the desk… Oh, come on, sweetie, I won’t make you tell… Yes, of course, I’ll tell them about yo-After you leave?... But, they leave at the same time and there won’t be any ti… Oh, ok, if that’s the way you want it, we can tell them about you tomorrow… Yes, you can come out now... No, you have to stay here till class is finished… No, I’m not going to tie you to your chair… Well, I’m not like your piano teacher.”

“Rachel? Do you have your hook in your ear?... Well, would you take your frog’s leg out of your ear?... You found what?... How did yo.. Never mind, just take his leg out of your ear. Thank you”

“You three may sit down till class is over… Now, I’d like you all to take the yarn in your left hand and your hook in yo-Timothy! Nickolas! Laura! I said, get away from that window!...Well, I’m saying it now! Uriah, sit down! No, you all are not going to play the ‘Great Escape’!... Yes, I WILL stop you!... With my cattle prod and net!... Andrea, just hide under your desk and cover your eyes!... You just said the wrong thing, young man!.. I don’t CARE if you’re a minor!... I’M THE LAW AROUND HERE!… SIT DOWN BEFORE I…

*bell chimes*

"Alright class, line up and file out slowly and quietly.. It was fun today, wasn't it?... Yes, I’ll be here tomorrow… No, I’m not going to kiss the frog goodbye… Because he is happier as your frog... Byebye!... Yes, Timothy, I have a date for Saturday… And Monday… And Tuesday… And Wednesday… Honey, I have a date every day… No, not with you… Byebye… Uh-huh… Byebye! Byebye!..."

*goes to the closet to get some goat feed, finds that there is no more, looks at the goat forlornly & crumples onto the floor in a sobbing mess*

*ten minutes later realizes doesn't own a goat*

DAY FOUR
*Scene opens on a clear summer day, sparkling with dew on the sunbeams, the daffodils and irises nodding to each other like old friends at a wedding. The colors are so vivid it looks like someone's paintbox has spilled all over the countryside in an array of deep greens, dusty tans, dark browns, lovely purples and dove grays. Everything seems beautiful, fresh and clean.*

*Until she comes down the road... A dark cloud engulfs our happy scene, creeping forward with each step of her sneaker clad foot upon the dirt road, the damp dust clinging to the soles of her feet, some of it rising in little puffs before her advancing figure, filtering softly away in the breeze from her skirts.*

*The halls are quiet, like a waxed tomb, echoing the slightest whisper off the polished surfaces. The light is blinding through the front windows, reflecting dully on the lockers, showing the dents and stains more clearly in the shadows. Everywhere else is in twilight, the temperature is cool, refreshing.*

*There's a click, the front door swings open, the bolt clicks back, the sound echoing down the halls. Quiet footsteps, pat, pat, pat, pat. Time can be marked by the steadiness in the rhythm, as she walks down the tiled floor. The sound precedes her, bouncing and rebounding off the walls, growing more confused as the sound travels, till it finally reaches the door of the room at the end of the hall. Last door on the left. Last door. The walk is nearly over.*

*The sound of her footsteps are nothing compared to the sounds of her beating heart and rasping breath. They join the rhythm, blending with it, harmonizing with it, then transcending it, finally overtaking it, overpowering the sound of the footfalls as she draws nearer the door. She pauses, a part of her goes beyond the ceiling she glanced at, a sigh, her breathing becomes controlled, her heart calmed. Her trembling hand gropes for the knob, it's callouses making slight rasping noises against the smooth metal.*

"Good mor- OH!"

*We need not describe the room....*





*But we must. The crepe paper hung limply from the bookshelves where damp little hands had secured it in untold ways. A book here, a pin there... An uprooted flower deigned to welcome her from the top of one of the cupboards, surrounded by it's court of fresh soil. A card stood or sat on each of the little desks, every color, every shape, every design. Yarn festooned the desk in dozens of strings of, Heaven bless them, crocheted chains of every color.*
*She couldn't help it. She fell to her knees and cried out a thank you that words could not engulf, nor lips form. The sound startled the troop of youngsters and livestock gathered at the window. Their watching would have indeed been in vain, for how could they know that the Teachers house was in the other direction?*

DAY FIVE
*sigh*
“Alright class, it’s time to sit down now… No, Camille, you may not sit on the top shelf just because it’s your first day... Because it’s against the rules… MY rules… Thank you.”

“Ok, today is a special day! Can you guess what it is?... No, Nickolas, it’s not my dog’s birthday… Um, no, Laura, it’s not because it’s your goat’s first day home from the hospital… Yes, I am sorry that it fell down the stairs… What was that Timothy?... No, I’m not announcing that I’m engaged…”

“Ok, everyone settled in their chairs? Good. Now, today is a special day because we’re going to learn how to hold the yarn! Won’t that be fun?... Yes, I know you know how to milk a goat, Uriah, but this is a little different… Um, no I don't... Because I live in town... Because that's where I live... Ok, I will look into getting a country house... Yes, of course, now does everyone have their yarn?... Yes, Rachel honey, you and Laura may share the yarn... No, just start at different ends, yes, good... Alright, now we just take the yarn in our left hand an-Nickolas, just the end of the yarn... Yes, not the whole skein... Ok, now you need to tie a loose knot in the yarn,... Yes, just like that, and… Nonononononono, NOT around your head! I know Noah is doing it but I will deal with him presently… You just do what I say and not what Noah does!... Ok, Noah, just hold still while I get the yarn out of your hair… Uh-hu-No wait, is that gum?... No honey, you have to make a knot without the help of gum... No, not yet Timothy… Because I am POSITIVE I can get the gum out of his ears without the help of a scisso-RACHEL?! Did I see a crochet hook in your ear? Well I (Hold still, Noah!) I don’t want any pens in them either!... Pens, pencils, paintbrushes, PAINTCANS! Just keep EVERYTHING out of your ears!”

Where is Timothy? He and Uriah are going to get a WHAT?! No, don’t cry Noah, I won’t let them!... No, just hold still and maybe I can get it out before they come back! Laura, go get me some peanut butter!... Ok, ask the science teacher if he has any vegetable oil! No, Rachel, my veggies aren’t squeaking… Doah, I no id hurds, bud please led go ob my dose… Thank you…”

“Camille, hand me a chair so I can sit down. Thank you. Now, Noah? You knew that gum is not supposed to go in your hair, right?... I know you didn’t mean to, honey, so just hold still and don’t think about it till Laura gets back… No, you don’t need to think about it after she does… Just think about your favorite things!... Stop singing, Rachel… What are your favorite things, Noah?... Reciting what? The Constitution of the United States?... Ok, we will try to be quiet while you do that…”

“Nickolas? Could you go see what is keeping Laura?... Please hurry, I’m getting tired… Well, it’s because I’m holding Noah on my knee, the yarn in one hand and the gum with the other, while keeping Rachel and Camille apart with my foot… Yes, Nickolas, I can hold out till you get back… Don’t you dare drag Laura back by her hai-… He can’t hear me… Camille, Rachel, please stop it!"

"Laura! Where have you been?! We have to get the gum out of Noah's hair before Timothy and Uri-... Yeess, deary, I knew vinegar and baking soda did that... Uh-huh, and that aluminum and bromine do that... Yes, I'm sure you did, now, did you bring the vegetable oil?... Well, you better go back and get it!... Yes, Noah, we will have it out before your Mom comes to pick you up... Yes, I have a hat if we don't..."

"Nickolas! Where have you been? No, I don't want to know! Just come over here and help me!... I know I may being doing fine, but I would be doing finer if I had some help!... Yes, grab the yarn and just hold it while I keep the rest of this gum out of Noah's ha-IR-CAMILLE! RACHEL! STOP! PUT DOWN THOSE SCISS- NICKOLAS! GET THOSE AWAY FROM THE GIRLS! NO! WAIT! PUT THE YARN DOWN FIRST! NONONONONONONOOOOO! STOP RUNNING AROUND US! CAMILLE! RACHEL! STOP THIS INSTANT!"

"Alright, now, Nickolas, untie Noah and me... Camille, get away from us with those scissors!... Put them on my desk and go sit in the corner! Rachel you too!... In the OTHER corner... Nickolas, I think you are going the wrong way, dear... No dear, it's getting tighter..."

Laura, finally! Hurry and give me the vegetable oil! No! DON'T RUN!!... I know you didn't mean to trip honey, but you should have left the cover on the bucket... No, Noah, oil won't give you water on the brain..."

When Timothy and Uriah returned, they found this scene before them. Camille and Rachel were shooting rubber bands at each other from opposite corners of the room. Nickolas was pushing all the desks together against the wall to make a ship. Laura was sitting in a pool of oil crying. Noah had gotten the gum out of his hair just by yanking it out, leaving bald patches all over his head and was sitting on the lap of their beloved Teacher. She was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, tied to the chair with blue, orange and lime green yarn, covered in oil from streaming hair to greasy shoes, staring with wild, red-rimmed eyes at the clock...

You can imagine why Timothy and Uriah were found in the hall rolling on the floor, laughing...



I'm working on the next story. Don't rush me! I'm waiting for the last minute! Razz

Posted By: Princess Grace
5 Petitions

BIG PROBLEM PEOPLE!


Mon Nov 21, 16 11:27 am

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[  Mood: Scared ]

OK!... Don’t worry!... Don't anybody panic!... I got this! I got this under control!...



Um, I think I got this under control!...


Well, actually, I’m really in need of some help!


I just can’t get this thing to work! It’s jammed or something!


I can’t get my brain to think of a new blog story line!


Help me, please!







Nah, this is just a gag to get you guys to do my thinking for me. I’m just working hard at not working! Razz

Posted By: Princess Grace
5 Petitions

Statement of Faith


Thu Feb 27, 14 11:07 am

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[  Mood: Happy ]

My Sister put this up on her Blog and my Dad suggested I do the same. All imput is appreciated and seriously considered, though I do reserve the right to respectfully disagree, as does anybody else. Smile


Doctrinal Statement of Faith

God the Father
We believe that God is spirit, triune, and the one and only eternal, immutable, invisible, transcendent, and self-sufficient One who is also omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent, holy, loving, faithful, righteous, merciful, gracious, long suffering, and good. He is a God of judgment and jealousy, and He is the Creator, the sustainer, and Lord of all things. In the unity of the Godhead there are three persons - the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, equal in every divine perfection and executing distinct but harmonious offices in the great work of redemption and in the accomplishment of His eternal plan and purpose. (Gen. 1:1-3; Exod. 20:2-3; Deuteronomy 6:4; Job 42:2; Psalm 90:2, 102:24-27, 139:7-18, 147:5; Isa. 40:28; Jer. 23:23-24: Nahum 1:2-6; John 4:24, 14:1-26; 1 Cor. 8:6; 2 Corinthians 13:14; James 1:17; 1 John 3:20, 5:6-12; Rev. 4:11)

The Holy Bible
We believe that the Bible is the verbally inspired, inerrant, infallible Word of God in its original penned manuscripts of Hebrew and Greek. The Lord has preserved His Word in faithful translations throughout the world in languages of the common man. By “The Holy Bible” we mean the collection of sixty-six books contained in the Old and New Testament from Genesis to Revelation. This Bible is the complete and final revelation of God’s will and, therefore, is the believer’s sole authority for faith and practice. Our church chooses to use the King James Version based upon its historical accuracy and to eliminate confusion by using only one translation for all services. (Psalm 12:6-7; Psalm 119:105; John 1:1-5; 2 Tim. 3:16-17; Heb. 4:12; 2 Peter 1:19-21; Rev. 1:1-3, 22:18-19)

Jesus Christ
We believe that Jesus Christ is the second person of the Godhead, the promised seed of the woman, of Abraham, and of David. (Isa. 9:6-7; Matt. 1:1-17; Luke 3:23-38 ) He is Emmanuel, God with us, fully God and fully man, the Creator of all things. (Isa. 7:14; Matt. 1:23; John 10:30-38, 14:6-10; Col. 1:16-17, 2:8-9) Jesus Christ is unchanging: He was, is and always will be God. (John 1:1-3, 14; Heb. 13:8 ) He was conceived of the Holy Ghost and born of the virgin Mary. (Isa. 7:14; Matt. 1:18-25; Luke 1:26-38, 2:21; Gal. 4:4) He grew in wisdom and favor with God and man, lived a perfectly sinless life, and gave Himself as the sacrificial payment for man’s sin with His broken body and shed blood. (Matt. 4:1-11; Luke 2:40-52; 2 Cor. 5:21; Phil. 2:5-8; Heb. 2:6-18, 4:15; 1 John 2:1-2) He willingly died, was buried, and bodily rose again three days later. (Isa. 53; Mark 15:37-39; Luke 22:39-42, 23:46; John 2:19-22, 10:11-18, 19:30-37; Acts 10:38-41; 1 Cor. 15:3-4; Eph. 5:2) He ascended back to heaven and is now exalted at the right hand of God the Father. He intercedes as High Priest on our behalf and awaits the subduing of all things under His feet at the Father’s appointed time. (Psalm 110:1; Matt. 22:41-46, 26:59-68; Mark 12:35-37,14:55-65; Luke 22:67-71, 24:50-51; Acts 1:9-11, 2:32-36, 5:30-32, 7:51-58; Rom. 8:34; Eph. 1:17-23; Phil. 2:9-11; Col. 3:1, Heb. 7:24-27; 1 John 2:1-2) Then Jesus Christ, as King of Kings and Lord of Lords, will judge all men, both saved and lost. (Matt. 16:27, 25:31-46; John 5:22-30, 18:36; Rom. 2:1-16, 14:10-12; 1 Cor. 3:11-15; 2 Cor. 5:10; Phil. 2:9-11; 2 Tim. 4:1, 8; Rev. 19:16)


The Holy Spirit
We believe the Holy Spirit is a divine person, eternal and equal with God the Father and God the Son. (John 14:15-21; Acts 5:3-4; 1 John 5:7) He along with the Father and the Son created all that exists. (Genesis 1:1-2; Col. 1:16) He inspired the writing of the Scriptures, both Old and New Testaments. (Heb. 3:7-12; 2 Pet. 1:19-21) The Holy Spirit convicts the world of sin, of righteousness and of judgment. (John 16:8-14) He seals (2 Cor. 1:21-22; Eph. 1:12-14), regenerates (John 3:5-7; Titus 3:3-7), indwells (John 14:16-17; 1 Cor. 3:16; 1 John 4:13), guides (John 16:13-15), baptizes (Acts 1:4-8, 11:15-18; 1 Cor. 12:13), teaches (John 14:26; 1 Cor. 2:10-14), sanctifies (1 Cor. 6:11; 1 Pet. 1:2), comforts (John 14:16, 15:26, 16:7; Acts 9:31), and gives spiritual gifts (1 Cor. 12:4-11; Heb. 2:2-4). We also believe that the Holy Spirit can be resisted, grieved or quenched. (Acts 7:51; Eph. 4:29-32;
1 Thess. 5:19)

Angels and Demons
We believe that all angels were created by God and that they are spiritual beings ordained to be God’s ministering spirits, messengers and worshipers. (2 Kings 6:14-18; Matt. 4:11; Col. 1:16; Hebrews 1:1-14) We believe that God’s angels will not bring any other gospel than what is revealed in God’s Word. (Galatians 1:8-9) We believe that angels are not to be worshiped or exalted. (Exodus 20:1-5; Col. 2:18; Revelation 22:8-9) We believe that demons are all angels that chose to leave their first estate with God in heaven and actively oppose the work of God and His saints. (2 Pet. 2:4; Jude 6)

Satan
We believe that Satan was once a holy angel of God. He fell and drew after him a host of angels and is now the malignant prince of the power of the air and the unholy god of this world. We hold him to be man’s great tempter, the enemy of God and Jesus Christ, the accuser of the brethren, the father of all lies, the author of all false religions, the chief source of the present apostasy, the lord of anti-christ, and the ruler of all the powers of darkness. He is destined however to final defeat at the hand of God’s Son, and to the judgment of an eternal justice in the lake of fire, a place prepared for him and his angels. (Matt. 4:1-11, 13:19 & 39, 25:41; Luke 10:18; John 8:44; 2 Cor. 4:4, 11:13-15; Eph. 2:1-3; 1 Pet. 5:8-9; 1 John 3:8; Rev. 12:1-10, 13:1-18, 20:10)

Creation and Man
We believe the Genesis account of creation is to be accepted literally and not allegorically or figuratively. God created the first man, Adam, in His own image and likeness and the woman was created out of man to be his helper. The creation was accomplished in six, twenty-four hour days and God rested on the seventh day. (Genesis 1:1-31, 2:2; Exodus 20:11). We deny any form of atheistic or theistic evolution. Man’s creation was not a matter of evolution, or evolutionary change of species, or development through undetermined periods of time from lower to higher forms. All animal and vegetable life was made directly by God, and God’s established law was that they should bring forth only “after their kind.” (John 1:3; Act 4:24; Romans 1:19, 20; Col. 1:16-17; Heb. 1:10)

Sin
We believe that sin is the transgression of God’s Holy Law and of His commandments, and it is the evil thought as well as the evil act. Sin is also omitting things we should do as well as doing things we shouldn't. Adam sinned and brought all of creation under the curse of sin. All men and women are dead in trespasses and sin. The righteous punishment for sin is eternal separation from God in the lake of fire. (Matt. 15:17-20, 25:41, 46; Rom. 3:20, 23, 4:15, 5:12, 6:23, 7:15-19; Heb. 9:27; James 4:17; 1 Jn. 3:4; Rev. 20:11-15, 21:8 )

Salvation
We believe that salvation is by God’s grace through personal faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. (John 3:1-18, 11:25-26, 14:6; Acts 4:10-12; Rom. 10:8-13; Eph. 2:8-9; 2 Tim. 3:15) We believe that a repentant heart toward sin is evidence or fruit of salvation. (Matt. 7:16-20; Mark 1:14-15; Luke 5:31-32, 6:43-49, 15:7; Acts 2:37-39; 2 Cor. 5:17, 7:10) Through shedding His blood, Jesus Christ provided full atonement (reconciliation) for all our sins in His substitutionary death, burial, and bodily resurrection from the dead. (Matt. 26:28; Rom. 5:11; 1 Cor. 15:3-4 & 12-19; Heb. 9:19-23, 10:4-14; 1 John 2:1-2, 4:10) At the point of faith, God justifies the believer through the merits of Jesus Christ (Rom. 3:21-26), redeems the believer (Eph. 1:7; Col. 1:14; Titus 2:13-14), reconciles the believer to Himself (Matt. 18:11; Rom. 5:6-10; Col. 1:21; 1 Pet. 3:18 ), regenerates the believer unto eternal life (Rom. 5:19-21; Titus 3:4-7), adopts the believer into His family (John 1:12-13; Rom. 8:14-16, Gal. 4:4-7; Eph. 1:13-14), and sanctifies the believer unto good works (Matt. 12:33; John 15:5; Eph. 2:4-10; 1 John 1:7-10). We believe as the scripture states that “ye must be born again” in order to be saved. (John 3:1-7, 11:25-26) Salvation is a work of the Holy Spirit, is offered freely to all without discrimination, and is completely apart from the works of the Law. (Luke 24:44-48; Acts 2:21; Rom. 1:16, 10:11-13; Gal. 3:10-14) Those that are saved from sin are saved eternally. (John 3:36, 6:37 & 47, 10:27-30; Rom. 6:21-23, 8:35-39; Heb. 7:25; 1 Pet. 1:3-5)

The Church
We believe that the Lord Jesus Christ is the chief cornerstone and true head of the Church. (Matt. 28:18; Acts 4:10-12; Eph. 1:17-23, 2:19-22, 4:15, 5:23-27; Col. 1:16-18; 1 Pet. 2:6-7) We recognize that the word “church” can have two meanings: 1) the church is all of the born-again believers throughout history; and 2) the church is a local congregation, a visible assembly gathered in a particular place. (Acts 14:21-27; 1 Cor. 1:2; Heb. 10:23-25) We believe that the local church is a group of believers who have willingly joined themselves together to serve the Lord. (Acts 2:41-47, 14:22; Rom. 12:3-8; 1 Cor. 1:10, 12:12-27) We believe the purpose of the church is to worship the Lord; to preach the Word of God and the gospel of Christ; to instruct, edify and equip the saints; to pray and fellowship with one another; and to administer the ordinances of baptism and the Lord’s Supper. (Matt. 28:19-20; Mark 16:15; Acts 2:41-47, 8:26-39; Rom. 14:19; Eph. 4:11-16) We believe the church has two offices, Pastor and deacon, whose qualifications and duties are clearly defined in the scriptures. (Acts 6:1-3, 14:23, 20:28-31; Eph. 4:11-12; 1 Tim. 3:1-13; Titus 1:5-9; Heb. 13:7, 17; 1 Pet. 5:1-4) We hold that the local church has the absolute right of self-government: no organization, group or individual can act on behalf of the local church nor impose their will upon it. (Acts 6:1-7, 15:19-31) We also hold that the will of the local church is final in all matters of policy, discipline, benevolence, or fellowship with other churches. (Acts 15:19-31)

Ordinances of the Church
We believe the Bible teaches two ordinances which believers are to follow in obedience to Christ: Baptism and the Lord’s Supper, also known as Communion. We believe baptism and communion are not requirements to salvation. We believe Christian baptism is the complete immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is an act of obedience symbolizing the believer’s faith in a crucified, buried, and risen Savior. It is a picture of the believer’s death to sin, the burial of the old life, and the resurrection to newness of life in Christ Jesus. It is an identification and outward testimony of what has already happened in the believer’s heart. (Matt. 3:13-17, 28:19-20; Acts 2:38 & 41, 8:12 & 35-39, 10:43-48, 16:30-33, 18:8; Rom. 6:3-6; Col. 2:12) We believe the Lord’s Supper is a memorial of what Jesus has done for us. Our church observes the Lord’s Supper by partaking of unleavened bread and non-alcoholic grape juice as the symbols of Jesus Christ’s broken body and shed blood done in remembrance of Him. We believe no one except saved and baptized believers may participate in the Lord’s Supper. Believers should always examine why they partake in communion: it is to remember the Lord’s death until He comes. (Matt. 26:26-30; Mark 14:22-26; Luke 22:19-20; 1 Cor. 11:23-31)

End Time Events
We understand the scriptures to teach that at God’s appointed time “the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God” to receive His bride unto Himself. All saved believers in Christ are His bride. Believers who have already died shall be raised; then they and those who are alive shall immediately be caught up in the air with the Lord Jesus. This event is commonly referred to as the Rapture. (John 14:3; Acts 1:11; 1 Cor. 15:50-54; Phil. 3:20-21; 1 Thess. 4:13-18, 5:1-11; 2 Thess. 2:1-3) After Christ and his bride are joined together, unbelievers left behind on earth will go through a seven-year period of wrath and judgment from God, called the Great Tribulation. After this time, Christ shall return visibly to the earth with his army (the Second Coming), and the great battle of Armageddon will be fought at Megiddo in the valley of Jezreel, with Christ victorious. (Zech. 14:2-4; Matt. 24:29-31; Luke 21:20-28; 2 Thess. 2:3-12; Rev. 1:7, 14:9-11, 16:13-16, 19:11-21) The beast and the false prophet will be cast into the lake of fire. Satan will be bound and cast into the bottomless pit, and Christ and His saints shall reign in righteousness for a thousand years (the Millennium). (Isa. 11:1-10, 65:17-25; Rev. 19:19-21, 20:1-6) After the thousand years, Satan will be loosed for a short time to deceive the nations until they assemble for battle against the Lord, and He destroys them with fire (battle of Gog and Magog). (Ezek. 38; 2 Thess. 1:7-10; Rev. 20:7-10) Then all unbelievers will be raised to stand at the Great White Throne to be judged. They will be cast into the lake of fire for eternity, along with Death, Hell, and the devil and his angels. (Matt. 25:41-46; 2 Cor. 5:10; Jude 6; Rev. 20:11-15) A new heaven and a new earth will be created, and Jesus Christ will reign forever as King of Kings and Lord of Lords with His own in the new Jerusalem. (Isa. 9:6-7; Dan. 2:27-45; Matt. 25:31-40; Luke 1:32-33; 1 Cor. 15:24-28; Phil 2:9-11)

Statement on Morality
Be it resolved that the policy of this church is to be opposed to all forms of sexual immorality and abuse, including, but not exclusive to, homosexuality, fornication, adultery, incest, pornography or bestiality.

Further be it resolved that we believe in the literal interpretation of Scriptures within the Bible which condemn these acts, materials, or relationships. To be consistent with this position, we could not, therefore, knowingly place into leadership positions, or receive into church membership any person actively practicing or condoning these sexual perversions. Any person found to be violating Scripture in this area would be subject to dismissal from any leadership position and possible removal from church membership if there is not proper repentance and restoration.

Further be it resolved that the moral corruption of sexual sin can be fully forgiven through repentance and faith in Christ’s atoning work (1 Cor. 6:9-11; 1 John 1:9), but physical and spiritual scars caused by sexual sin cannot always be erased in this life. Thus we affirm that God fully forgives all who repent of sexual sin. We believe that relationships broken by sexual sin can be restored through genuine repentance and faith. We deny that there is any sort of sexual sin God cannot forgive. We oppose the idea that victims of sexual infidelity or abuse should never forgive those who have sinned against them. (Gen. 2:24; 19:5-13; Lev. 18:1-30; Deut. 27:20-23; Rom. 1:26-32; 1 Cor. 5; Eph. 5:3-5; 1 Thess. 4:3-5; Heb. 13:4)

Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage
We believe that marriage was instituted by God to be a permanent covenantal union between one man and one woman and therefore are opposed to polygamy or same-sex marriages. We also believe that the Scriptures show marriage to be a representation of the relationship Jesus Christ has with His church. We further believe that God hates divorce and has always intended a marriage to last until one of the spouses dies. Divorced persons are Biblically prohibited from consideration for the offices of pastor or deacon, even though they might be greatly used of God for other areas of Christian service. (Gen. 2:24; Mal. 2:14-16; Matt. 5:31-32, 19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12; Rom. 7:1-3; 1 Cor. 7; Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Tim. 3:2, 12)

Abortion
We believe that God knows all individuals before they are ever born. Therefore, we believe that human life begins at conception and that the unborn child is a living human being. Abortion constitutes the unjustified, unexcused taking of unborn human life. Abortion is murder. We believe that abortions of pregnancies due to rape, incest, birth defects, gender selection, birth or population control, or the well-being of the mother are not acceptable. (Gen. 20:17-18; Exod. 21:22-23; 1 Sam. 1:5-20; Psalm 139:14-16; Eccl. 11:5; Isa. 44:24, 49:1, 5; Jer. 1:5; Luke 1:44)

Lawsuits Between Believers
We believe that Christians are prohibited from bringing civil lawsuits against other Christians or the church to resolve disputes. We believe the Bible possesses all the resources necessary to resolve any and all disputes between members. (Matt. 5:38-42, 18:15-17; Rom. 12:17-21; 1 Cor. 6:1-8; Eph. 4:31-32; 2 Tim. 3:16-17; 2 Pet. 1:2-4; 1 John 1:5-9)

Civil Government
We believe that civil government is appointed by God the Father to rule according to His commandments and for the interests and good order of human society. We believe governmental authorities are to be prayed for, honored and obeyed, except in things clearly contrary to the will of God as revealed in the Scriptures. (Exo.18:23-26, 20:1-17; 1 Sam. 13:13-14; 2 Sam. 23:3; Psalm 22:27-28, 67:3-4, 118:8-9; Matt. 10:28; Acts 4:18-21, 5:27-33; Rom. 13:1-7; 1 Tim. 2:1-3; Titus 3:1-2; Heb. 13:17; 1 Pet. 2:13-17)

Posted By: Princess Grace
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